Good evening. Welcome to Pretentious Theater.

Good evening. Welcome to Splendiferous Rainbow Unicorn Theater of the Imagination. [This was the line used in the world premiere of You’ve Ruined a Perfectly Good Mystery!]

Good evening. We are about to embark upon a theatrical journey upon the vessel of imagination. It shall be powered by the engine of imagination. Our tickets, also taken by imagination.

Good evening. We are about to embark upon a theatrical journey upon the vessel of imagination. Or perhaps it shall be a journey of imagination upon the vessel of the theater.

Good evening. We are about to embark upon an amazing theatrical voyage. Our ship shall be the stage, the sail shall be the imagination, and the wind shall also be the imagination.

Good evening. We are about to embark upon a theatrical journey upon the vessel of imagination. Though we will have props and costumes and things like that too.

Good evening. We are about to embark upon a theatrical journey upon the vessel of imagination, propelled by the power of imagination. And theater.

Good evening. Tonight we fill the sails of artistry with the wind of imagination, embarking on a theatrical journey.

Good evening. Tonight we fill the sails of artistry with the wind of imagination, embarking on a theatrical voyage of imagin-artistry.

Good evening. Tonight we fill the sails of artistry with the wind of imagination, embarking on a theatrical voyage of artisti-gination.